Fantasy Football

We said we would try to do a modicum of news items that may have an adverse or advantageous effect on your fantasy week. This is that post. We’ll try to do this every Friday because it is oh so important that we keep tabs on every player that everyone else is keeping tabs on. Everyone from here on down was listed as questionable at some point this week.

Baltimore Ravens
Ed Reed - The last productive pillar of what was once a lauded defense. If you actually drafted Balmer’s D, and he doesn’t end up playing against the Bengals on Sunday, you might want to try and switch them out at the last second. Take the Jets defense if available, they are playing Miami.
Willis McGahee - Because nothing can go write with this team. If you are in a twelve team league, Roy Rice should still be available.
Todd Heap - This team is soooo fucked.

Cincinnati Bengals
Kenny Watson - If you’re in an Ohio based league like me, Chris Perry is probably off waivers. If not, you’d be wise to pick him up.
Chad Johnson - Chad’s flamboyance has crossed the line into idiocy with the name change.
TJ Houshmandzadeh - The only Bengal worth drafting relative to where he is ranked. In other words, its a bitch if he doesn’t play.

Given the Bengals penchant for drafting receivers, we are kind of hoping they draft some phenom that wants his number, and the team forces Chad to give it up.

Jacksonville Jaguars
Jerry Porter - Plus one to you if you actually drafted Jerry Porter, and knew he wasn’t still playing for the Raiders. Minus fourteen just for drafting Jerry Porter. This team has a bevy of mediocre receivers to choose from if you want to pick up a replacement.

New England Patriots
Benjamin Watson - As good of a tight end as he is, New England spreads the ball out too much. Look elsewhere for a tight end if need be.

Oakland Raiders
Javon Walker - Meet Jerry Porter’s replacement. If JaMarcus Russell can roll out of the pocket without falling over we’d be surprised so we can’t imagine you were actually planning on starting Walker. If you were, we will assume you are in a twenty team league and are fucked regardless.

Philadelphia Eagles
Reggie Brown - This was basically who the Eagles were relying on to replace Terrell Owens. At least after they released Donte Stallworth. Pick up DeSean Jackson in lieu of Brown, he’ll probably produce more anyways.

Seattle Seahawks
Deon Branch - Everyone has Seattle winning the division again and contending for the Superbowl, but no one seems to think Hasselbeck makes it through the season healthy, so we assume everyone really has faith in Seneca Wallace taking them to the promise land.

Essentially, if you have an abundance of players from the bottom half of the AFC North then you might be shit out of luck, otherwise you might actually have to keep your bench players on the bench. The horror!

That’s it for the week, enjoy week one and we’ll be back with some half-assed analysis on Monday morning.