Fantasy Football

We are at the point in the season where nagging injuries and missed games start to tally up. Sure, that is an issue in the first half of the season as well as the middle, but there seems to be a surplus of it going into week eight, and there are several players often left on the open market that you can either add to your lineup or roster to improve your odds. Here are just some of those names.

1) Steve Heiden
Kellen Winslow isn’t sideline with the staff infection that the Browns hid from everyone, but rather with a suspension for telling the media why he didn’t play in week six. But what happened in week six? Heiden broke off five catches for 59 yards (A good game for tight-ends this season) in an absolute route of the defending champion Giants, 35-14. Thirty five points, against one of the better defenses in the league, which means more opportunity for touchdowns. If you are struggling to find a productive tight-end (as just about everyone except for three teams in your league is), Heiden might be your best bet.

But more on the Winslow suspension, which typifies why the owners are hypocritical douchebags who are never asked to answer for their hypocrisy because they’re not in the public eye. At least not as much as the players. Of course Winslow has had some behavioral issues in the past, and they’ve used that as a reason to completely disregard his protestations to their attempt to cover up a rash of staff infections.

Is Winslow an ideal personality? No. But he’s been asked to endure a run of humiliating rumors at the behest of his employer that jeopardized him and his teammates health, and it all seemed to be done thanklessly. Apparently the Browns owners are the closest thing the NFL produces to sweat shop owners. The player’s union really, really needs to strengthen their resolve. In this economy they’ll be asked to double as chauffeurs if they’re not careful.

2) Pierre Thomas
We know absolutely nothing about this guy, and still tend to think McAllister and Stecker will pull in a good amount of carries. But with Reggie Bush sidelined with a hamstring injury and ESPN having Thomas listed as the second string, this is the guy to acquire apparently. He better show up at least, because we all know Marcus Fucking Colston isn’t going to contribute. Anyhow, we suspect this will be heavy on run by committee, but if you have Reggie Bush this is your best opportunity to fill the temporary void he is leaving.

Pierre's going to take the Chargers to school...or something.

3) Jamaal Charles
The rookie running back for the Chiefs and backup to cartoonishly troubled Larry Johnson (it hasn’t been a good year for former and current Penn State football players). It is either Charles or Kolby Smith, and since ESPN ranks Charles higher on the depth chart and it has been a remarkable year so far for rookie running backs, we recommend going with Charles. They are playing the Jets who sport a fairly solid defense, but anyone the Chiefs play has a relatively strong D, so that is just splitting hairs. Go with Charles in the even of a bye week, or if you were lacking the foresight to avoid Larry Johnson.

4) Sammy Morris
If he was available last week he probably isn’t anymore. But if you have him on your roster you would be well advised to start him, as they are playing the Rams and Bill Belichick is about a thousand times better of a coach than Wade Phillips, and the Cowboys roster is essentially a traveling carnival. this goes against our newly developed credo from two days ago, but if the Rams contain the Patriots and actually pull out a third straight win against a playoff caliber team, then the Cardinals probably have someone to worry about for the division title. Which is refreshing. The Cardinals need to have something to worry about.

5) Chansi Stuckey
Much like Pierre Thomas, we know nothing about this guy personally. We do know, however, that he plays for the Jets, and that the Jets are playing the Chiefs at home, and they are going to be out for blood after that humiliating loss to Tom Cable and the clusterfuck Raiders. One thing we admire about Favre is he doesn’t discriminate who he throws to, so expect Stuckey to add to his touchdown total on the season.

More later if we can find the time.