Fantasy Football

My apologies for taking the day off yesterday, but we have a viable excuse that we can actually prove, we were writing a running diary for last night’s NBA draft. Go here if this is something that might interest you or if you were planning on seeking revenge for our failing to post something disappointingly dry and poorly written. If the latter is the case, I wouldn’t be too surprised by any day off from now until August.

In case you haven’t noticed, golf and the NBA are dominating sports headlines right now (especially the NBA), and any news coming out of the NFL is fairly superfluous as it pertains to fantasy football. There is good news, however, that we found out Hard Knocks with the Cincinnati Bengals is scheduled to premiere on August 12th.

I feel like we’re becoming too preoccupied with HBO sports on this site, but we watched Hard Knocks in its entirety when they were filming at the Chiefs mini-camp in 2007. We couldn’t stomach more than a couple episodes with the Cowboys, and we get a sneaking suspicion that as much as we’re anticipating the insider look with the Bengals, it could be just as dull. Plus the show always felt hollow to me, I never really understand what the point is, and it makes the intense presentation of it so befuddling. Maybe last season it was just lacking in likable personalities, but it doesn’t really matter either way, because there is no way we don’t end up watching at least the first two episodes.

In other non-related news, Gloria Estefan now owns a hefty share of the Miami Dolphins. NFL fans/players are probably, by and large, the most concerned with being emasculated. Between the pretty pastel colors they sports, the smiling adorable Dolphin that is their logo, and a famous salsa dancing pop singer from then 80’s now owning a percentage of the team, I think this might be the last straw that leads to their base abandoning the team. They might as well have Kim Gandy come in and coach the team. I’m kidding of course, but is it going to surprise me if there’s some dust up in Jacksonville between a Jags fan that was heckling a Dolphins fan over his team’s new minority ownership? Probably not.

Their only hope is that most Dolphins fans don’t know who Gloria Estefan is (which seem highly improbable living in Miami) or they don’t read headlines in the off-season. Either way will suffice. But this could be the source of constant ridicule from opposing fans and players. At least in the article it says that the stadium will be named after Jimmy Buffet’s Land Shark Lager, that should help balance out the feelings of inadequacy. If nothing else they can get loaded on it. Things are going to seem really dire when they go 7-9 this season.

Probably it for the week unless something notable comes across the wire. Enjoy the weekend.

God, it’s getting to the point that I can’t tell if I’m writing a fantasy football blog or a police beat, they’ve been relatively interchangeable this week. The most noteworthy moment to happen this past week was Artie Lange raking Joe Buck over the coals on Buck’s own show. Obviously, it goes without saying, that this has nothing to do with football, much less fantasy football. Joe Buck calls games as drabbly as is humanly possible, and Artie Lange cracks dirty jokes on satellite radio for a living. In short, there isn’t much happening (hence yet another unannounced sabbatical yesterday).

So anyway, lets go to a quick rundown of completely inconsequential news, at least for the topic at hand. There’s a good chance we take the first half of July off, just to cleanse the palate and wait for something substantive to write about, unlike this depressing shit.

Dante Stallworth, as I’m sure you’ve heard, plea bargained his way out of extended prison time and was eligible to play this season, until Roger Goodell said he wasn’t. From a fantasy perspective nothing’s changed from what we all thought the outcome of this would be, so we’ve veered away from it. However, the meatheads that comprise local Columbus radio have tempted me to get on my soapbox, but I have and will continue to refrain from doing a moral critique on this.

More Ohio related NFL legal trouble: Donte Whitner had his court date pushed back on charges stemming from a night club incident earlier this off-season. Donte Whitner, a highly effective defensive back, will probably always be best known for this, and for the Bills over-drafting him when they could have traded down to the mid-20’s and still have gotten “their guy”. Anyhow, whatever bearing this might have on your fantasy team is minimal at best, if you were stuck drafting the Bills defense you probably have bigger problems.

And finally, in retiree news: Bernie Kosar is filing for Chapter 11 and Ryan Leaf has turned himself in and posted bail, I have no idea for what, though it doesn’t really matter… But, but, they’re not receivers, they’re quarterbacks. How could this be? I thought only receivers fucked up their personal and professional lives, that’s why we call them divas, because they’re completely unmanageable and have no reliable skill-set outside of catching a football. These two have a chance to get back on track though, unlike that filthy thug Chad Johnson, who is clearly a criminal because he likes to do creative end zone dances that fans and teammates find wildly entertaining. Isn’t that right, Joe Buck?

Ahem, got a little off-track there.

Anyways, yes, the world is a fucked up place and the NFL isn’t immune to it. It’s almost like these are real people that occasionally have to deal with real world issues. Wow, how eye-opening.

Back next Monday with something new on the docket.

Nothing really to speak of with fantasy football, but if you happen to catch Joe Buck Live last night it was probably a little more “newsworthy” than an offensive lineman holding out at camp. If you didn’t watch it, the entire hour (at least the segments when sports were discussed) was basically about the NFL. And let me just say, that having a prolonged conversation with Brett Favre probably couldn’t go much better, but it was still one of the more stinted and awkward conversations I’ve seen in awhile.

The Packer legend kicked off the hour (at least after Buck’s “hilarious” monologue), and for roughly twenty minutes we got to listen to Favre hem-and-haw over his relationship with the Vikings and the likelihood of him coming back to the NFL. It was a great third of an hour filled with non-answers and boyish “charm”, which apparently these days just means you can’t confidently form a complete sentence. He did give one direct answer when he said he wouldn’t play for anyone else other than Minnesota, which is a euphemism for “I don’t need to play for a team that I regard as having no shot of winning a Super Bowl with or without me.”

The second segment — after another vexing interlude from Buck that was a field interview with David Wright, a guy who plays baseball for one of the New York teams, it would seem — was with Michael Irvin and Chad Johnson, and they chose this segment to chastise Chad Johnson for having the audacity to attempt to entertain people, by conflating his on-field antics with operating outside the law like so many of his peers on the Bengals. Irvin talked about him like he wasn’t even in the room, and Joe Buck even ran a segment about athletes and celebrities off-the-field dalliances being documented by TMZ and other media outlets.

The segment could have painted the founder of The Smoking Gun to look a little more creepy than they did, but I’m glad they found some restraint. I actually found him to be refreshing in a segment that desperately needed some logic thrown into the mix. For god knows what reason, every mainstream pundit/columnist desperately wants the illegal discretions of professional athletes to be kept discrete (unless of course it involves steroids), and that’s something I’ve never really understood. Why is the reputation of a stranger who gets a DUI so important to them? It felt like they were painting Smoking Gun guy as the arch-villain and Ari Fleischer, a PR guy for several athletes, as the hero; protecting the reputation of occasionally amoral athletes.

Anyhow, Johnson –who mailed in an appearance for Hard Knocks and HBO synergy– had the good sense to bring up the fact that the only thing he’s guilty of is being a tad self-aggrandizing to the majority of NFL spectators (though Bengals fans probably love that degree of celebration when they’re winning). When Joe Buck pressed him to admit he’s been detrimental to at least his own team (and somehow this is related to the topic at hand of illegal activity), Johnson held his feet to the fire and asked for examples. Naturally, Joe Buck didn’t have any.

The real carnage came when Artie Lange came on set and basically just eviscerated Joe Buck during the television and “overtime” segment that they post online (and have subsequently removed). Outside of a few off-the-cuff remarks from Lange to Irvin, basically none of it had to do with football, but it warrants mentioning because it made the Bissinger-Leitch dust up on Costas Now from a little over a year ago look like a Bill Moyers interview.

In short, a complete and colossal failure that is now making headlines everywhere because Artie Lange basically asked Joe Buck if he likes to perform oral-sex on men. As a result, that show in September will probably air according to plan.

Probably it for today, back with some more tomorrow. Maybe Denis Leary will ask Al Michaels if his second favorite website is lickingscrotums.com

There’s a bunch of non news items like people returning to camp, Brett Favre status with the Vikings and op-ed on Mike Vick, but it’s all incredibly mundane, retread material that the NFL is famous for. Personally, I think I’d rather jump into a pit of lava filled with gremlins than write about “What It All Means” with any of these news-breaks, because they’re all so meaningless.

For some reason, the NFL isn’t making headlines in early June. Right now fantasy baseball is in vogue, and I can’t think of anything more relentlessly boring. I know a lot of people enjoy it, and I really shouldn’t judge. I play fantasy basketball and actually enjoy it more than football, but I feel like there’s a fine line of excessiveness with statistical productivity that fantasy basketball and fantasy baseball rest on opposite sides of.

So in lieu of having anything related to the NFL to write about that doesn’t consist of some headline like, “why this trade/acquisition will spell S-U-C-C-E-S-S for your fantasy team?”, we’re going to list the top ten sports/sporting events that would relate kindly to the fantasy realm but for whatever reason they aren’t (In other words, every sport that isn’t football, baseball, basketball, hockey, Nascar, golf and box office predictions), because no one’s ever done anything like this.

1) The Olympics

This is a tad vague, but you could pick individual athletes, countries, keep it confined to individual sports or a field of hand-selected ones. In all, this is probably the best fantasy sport option, and it would actually force you to take an interest in something most Americans either completely disregard or only pretend to care about. Not to mention the eye candy. Tell me, all things being equal, would you rather stare at the woman off to the left or Vince Wilfork in skin tight clothing?

2) Boxing

Man, if there was ever a sport that needed an influx of creative approaches to watch it. It’s simple: more points are earned for the heavier the weight classes, but the league would span every class from feather to heavy. The scoring format would be something like points earned for each win to varying degrees with decision, KO and TKO; bonus points for successful title defenses. This is obviously a rough overview that could be tweaked, but I think it’s the best chance to revive a sport that has been relying on HBO reality mini-series for exposure.

3) Soccer

This is a tad tricky since the scoring is so low, but if you brought non-productive stats like shots on goal or successfully deflected goal kicks,  then I think you have a game. Also, this would lend itself kindly to the World Cup, which seems completely unpredictable every year (at least from the very distant view with which I watch the World Cup) , and the way it is formatted with randomly compiled “groups” and whatnot, it would be much easier to score. The sport is so god damn tabloid infested you could get points for each confirmed WAG one of your players/teams managed to bed.

4) Horse Racing

Much like boxing, this is a sport definitely in need of a revival. Not so much because we still pretend to be knowledgeable and intrigued by at least one race a year (though usually three). We’re not really sure we regard this as a sport, though. And if you’ve ever been inside a sport book in Vegas or at an a track, we think they already have a version of fantasy horse racing available for those interested, it’s called traditional gambling. I hear it’s a blast. Me? I prefer the pig races at county fairs.

5) Lacrosse

I can’t begin to express my annoyance with this sport and it would seem virtually everyone who plays it, but it does accompany itself well to the fantasy concept: moderately high scoring, defensive statistics that laymen can follow and a growing player and fan base. I would never give this northeast institution the satisfaction of me following it, because it seems to attract some of the more loathesome and irritating college students known to man.

tied for 6th) Surfing & Bull-riding

There probably isn’t two sports with more dissimilar fan bases and participants, but for both it’s all about duration of time. In other words, how long does your surfer/rider stay upright riding a wave/a bull. And if one of the people you drafted dies in competition, you lose the spot on your roster.

Bowling

Points can be earned by placement and by final score. It could be calculated on a sliding scale from 300 and from first place. Plus, alcohol and sandwich consumption could be supplementary categories, like turnovers and offensive rebounds in fantasy basketball.

9) Tennis

It just seems so remarkably predictable that I can’t imagine this holding anyone’s interest. Either you have Federer or Nadal or you don’t, and that’s basically your league. Even then, which surface they’re playing on, nine times out of ten it will tell the tale. Maybe you could keep them out of your draft just so the two people who randomly would get the top picks wouldn’t be assured to finish in the money.

10) Poker

I’ve actually heard this tossed around as a possibility, but gambling on gambling seems like it’s about the last sign of a problem. If this is something you’re engaging in, chances are your spouse has left you, you’ve lost your job and have emptied your savings. Two weeks after joining a “fantasy poker” league I’m pretty certain that murder at least crosses your mind.

We’ll keep it at ten because as little as we know about the nine aforementioned sports, we know even less about something like Jailai, Rugby, Cricket and Field Hockey. I don’t want to be misleading, we wouldn’t ever actually partake in any of this, as introverted as we are, even we like to get away from flickering monitors a couple times a day.  Anyhow, this was fun, even if it was only used for filler. Hopefully something pertaining to the NFL that doesn’t invoke the names/words Favre, Vick, rookie, extension or mini-camp will make some headlines, and we can use that as fodder for this site.

Outside of explaining what each symbol indicates and how we’re tallying these up, I think we’re going to skip the preambles tonight. Oh, and Tom Brady threw a football again today, which managed to be the headliner for the NFL over at the Worldwide Leader. Just thought we’d toss that out there if you were wondering why we’re posting about basketball for the third straight day. If you require an explanation for such drastic actions, please go here for it.

The grades for officiating are labeled as such:

Great non-calls (A foul would generally be called in the situation but the referee caught the lack of contact): 00
Legitimate calls/good non-calls (Exactly what it sounds like): 0
Questionable calls (Calls that an argument could be made either way for but looked suspicious): /
Atrocious calls (fouls and called penalties that had no business being made): X
When the time on the call is bold and italicized, it means the call was obvious. We don’t want to give them too much credit for what should be routine.

Again, if you’re wondering what the strands of numbers at the end of each quarter mean, see if this makes any sense (the parentheses only apply to the second and third quarters):

Great non-calls (total for game)-Legitimate calls, those that were impossible for the official to botch (totals for both in parentheses)-Questionable calls (total in parentheses)-Atrocious calls (total in parentheses).

1st Quarter

9:44- Cleveland is called for a touch foul on Howard in the paint, he converts the three point-play. I’m not sure who touched him or who they called the foul on though. /

9:22- West called for tripping Courtney Lee. Looks reasonable. 0

9:00- Lewis gets called for grazing LeBron’s arm on a put back off a missed Varejao layup. There was contact, but it was about a second after LeBron tipped it back in. X

8:49- Dwight Howard called for a travel and he indeed took an extra step, but it looked like he might have traveled because he was hacked by Illgauskas (why would Howard have to travel on Illgauskas otherwise?). Still, we had no angle on any contact so we can’t rule on a potential foul either way. 0

7:09- A foul is called on Mo Williams when he isn’t within three feet of the play or any Orlando Magic players. Your guess is as good as mine. X

6:59- It looks like LeBron is hacked going to the rim, can’t really tell because they use that floating camera from the rafters to give us this particular play. 0

6:01- Illgauskas and Varejao tag-team Howard, like they need too. On the same play, Miller and Albert suggest that Illgauskas could have been called for a technical after he walks towards Howard in the least threatening way possible. He literally looks like he’s about to ask for directions, but not pull a knife on him.0

3:29- Mark Davis calls an off-the-ball foul three seconds too late for having the gall to touch Dwight Howard. I like how neither network will replay these calls, we just have to take them at their word, even though everyone was literally just standing around and the whistle blew. X

3:12- Pietrus reaches in to poke the ball away from leBron and is successful, but the official calls body, something we can’t attest to either way given (again) the camera angle. /

2:28- West is called for a travel after picking up his dribble too early going baseline. 0

2:20- Mo Williams is called for bumping Anthony Johnson, AKA Day Day from The Wire. It looked like bullshit but if anything else, we know it wasn’t a star call. Anthony Johnson probably hasn’t gotten preferential treatment since high school. /

1:47- The ref bought that Boobie Gibson sent Rashard Lewis’ tall ass flying to the hardwood (that wasn’t intentional but we’re not changing it). /

1:21- Ben Wallace, as evidenced by the second half of game four, is one of the better defenders on Dwight Howard and forces a jump ball with him. Amazingly there isn’t a foul call. 0

1:05- Good no call amidst much contact between Howard, Szczberiak and Wallace on a Pietrus three. 0

:58.3- Pietrus is called for foul while trying to defend him going through the lane on a pick. It was on the opposite side of the court and behind a couple people. You’ll never guess it but we didn’t get a replay. /

0-7, 3-5-3

Note: If the game keeps up at this pace we may have called it quits early, but since we watched games 1, 2 and 4 in their totality, I don’t think we can make those proclamations.

2nd Quarter

11:37- Dwight Howard shoves LeBron in the back for an offensive rebound (which we’ve always considered one of the dirtier fouls in basketball, because there is no way to counter it), Wally is called for a technical foul after pretend pushing Howard in the back. Apparently he feels the same way about the push in the back foul that we do, because there is no other explanation for his reation. That’s par for the course in these playoffs. So we’ll mark both of them as applicable. 0 0

10:17- Pietrus is called for his third foul, all of which have been on LeBron. He might as well call it a night with the way they’re calling him. Between him tonight, Nene last night and Varejao the night before, I think the officials are more likely to start another melee than they are to stop one./

9:43- Dwight Howard is hacked by Illgauskas on a three point-play. 0

9:33- Dwight Howard is called for his second foul when LeBron decides now is a good time to draw a foul from Howard and starts to plow into him, realizes Howard is basically the only person in the league stronger than he is. /

9:21- Gortat is fouled driving on a pick and roll.0

9:03- Good no call on a LeBron bank shot. We imagine any decisive no calls will fall in Cleveland’s favor tonight. 0

8:34- Courtney Lee is leveled by Illgauskas on a fast break, it looks a lot worse than it is because of the size discrepancy. You can tell Cleveland is a football town because the entire crowd “oooh’s” like they just watched a safety drill a receiver going across the middle. They haven’t seen such a play in twenty years so you can imagine their excitement. 0

7:51- Mo Williams is called for grazing the top of Rashard Lewis’ head on a fast break. X

7:34- Karma’s a bitch when Lewis is called for trying to run his forearm into Illgauskas chest too…create space, maybe? I have no idea but the way these games are officiated he had to have known what was coming. 0

7:00- West gets a continuation call that is so egregious everyone stopped defending him since it was called a decade before he released the shot. X

6:04- Van Gundy is livid about a no-call when Turkoglu drives to the hoop and the ball is batted away by Varejao after he spends around West. The good news is we actually got a replay and it looked clean from mine eyes. We might be biased though since we really don’t want this series to end. Gundy gets a technical for his best Bill Cowher impression. 0

5:38- Varejao is called for grabbing Howard in the paint on a rebound attempt. 0

5:19- Howard called for the goal-tend, which I’d be willing to bet he also led the league in. 0

3:26- Hand check call on Illgauskas when he’s guarding Howard in the paint. This is easily the most ineffectual hand-check in this insipid rule’s history, but it’s still a foul. 0

2:18- Howard goes up for a bucket, misses it and claims he is fouled, a teammate gets the offensive rebound and someone fires up a three while he is still complaining yet he still pulls down the second offensive board on the same possession and is immediately banged on by Illgauskas. The refs give him enough time to put a shot up so he can earn the and-1. 0

2:08- Alston called for a touch foul when Williams drives to the left, we can’t speak on it since Williams is between the camera and Alston. /

:45- Turkoglu is called for a foul on a LeBron drive, Albert tells us he was pushed but we can’t tell either way. Looked suspicious to us and we don’t trust Albert not to protect the label. /

0-12,6(19,9)-2(7)-4(7)

We don’t really track the game in these things because it would require too much rewinding/pausing/fast-forwarding to follow the officiating and the game. Either we’re not cut out for this or we’re not being paid enough. But it’s a two point game at half.

3rd Quarter

9:47- Good no call when LeBron bitches about being fouled and any contact was minimal. I imagine if Orlando hadn’t sucked the life out of this crowd he would have gotten that call. 0

7:50- Alston called for the clear path foul and we’re kind of on the fence on this rule. Based on the merits of this rule it was a terrible call (as Reggie Miller so succinctly explains), but it doesn’t really matter because the rule is shit, anyways. X

6:51- Alston called for reaching in on an Illgauskas drive (seriously) which he converts into a three point-play. He definitely reached but even with the replay we can’t tell if he actually touches him. We’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. 0

6:07- Lewis called for a foul when Illgauskas pushes off of him in the post. X

5:38- Howard called for travel. 0

5:16- James fouled on fast-break by Turkoglu. 0

4:25- Foul called on Varejao and it’s legitimate, but the whistle is blown before they make contact. I guess Varejao had a look in his eyes. 0

4:11- Illgauskas cops a feel off Howard’s entire right arm. Between this and the premature foul call on Varejao I think the Cavs are putting vodka in those little Gatorade cups. 0

3:30- Lewis catches an interior pass from Howard, holds it for a second before the ball goes flying out of bounds when a couple defenders rush over and they call it out on Orlando. /

3:02- Illgauskas draws a foul on Howard, giving Howard three for the night. 0

2:08- Varejao flops when defending Howard, the crowd buys it but the officials don’t because he does it at least twice a game. 0

1:58- Varejao draws an and-1 off a foul from Howard, we never get a replay on it but from afar there isn’t much arguing to be had. 0

1:45- Turkoglu gets Varejao (this is exhausting, I feel like I’m talking about Lord of The Rings characters) off the ground, but doesn’t have to jump into him, because jumping straight into the air is a foreign concept to Varejao. 0

1:25- Szczerbiak is called for a non-shooting foul on Lewis because he has no business ever playing in this game so long as Joe Smith is available, and he knows it (I mean Szczerbiak, but Smith is probably well aware of this too). 0

0-11,6(30,15)-1(8)-2(9)

4th Quarter

11:16- Anthony Johnson is cleanly blocked by Boobie Gibson, which he’ll never hear the end of. 0

10:45- LeBron is called for a blocking foul on…Michel Pietrus? And it looked clean? We’re still in “The Q”, right? /

10:32- Turkoglu is called for a foul trying to steal the ball from Wallace like he’s his younger brother and he’s ten year’s old. 0

9:50- Gortat jumps on LeBron’s back after an offensive rebound like he was expecting LeBron to put him on his shoulders. 0

7:44- The refs refrain from blowing the whistle on a LeBron drive in which he stumbles back after his missed shot. 0

7:36- Illgauskas fouls Howard. 0

7:14- Pietrus is called for his fourth foul, all four on LeBron. At this point I’m pretty sure everyone whose played more than twenty minutes has four fouls.0

6:58- Illgauskas is called for lightly shoving Howard. The crowd doesn’t like it, Miller defends it, I will say that in this climate it is obviously going to be called, but it really had no effect on the play. 0

6:00- James is fouled by Howard on a three point-play. 0

4:46- West is called for a foul on a three point “attempt” by Turkoglu. The reason for the quotations is Turkoglu had no intention of going into a shooting motion until West tried to put a vulcan death grip on Hedo’s member. Has to be called but I don’t like calling it a shooting foul, regardless of the blatant disregard for personal space. /

2:22- LeBron forces three point-play when Howard slides in a millisecond too late to draw the charge. If the Cavs blow this nine point lead I’m going back to my default position of disregarding all Cleveland sports. 0

2:08- Varejao called for a blocking foul on a Pietrus three point-play. Crowd doesn’t like it (though they seem oftentimes confused), but that’s only because it was so unorthodox with Pietrus driving west to east instead of north to south. 0

1:07- Ugh, the game’s already over but Gortat is called for a downey soft foul on a Varejao three point-play. Do you know how to tell it’s soft and probably ill-advised? Varejao just converted a three point-play. X

1:07- Discontent to let this half go by relatively fairly officiated, the refs make a colossally terrible foul call on Wally before the ball is thrown in-bounds. X

1:02- Varejao fouls out on a Rashard Lewis drive. The contact is completely sealed off from the camera by both players but we don’t get a replay. /

1:00- Shit, Orlando isn’t going to go back home gracefully, as Gortat wraps up Illgauskas, who’s probably the best free throw shooting big-man on either side of Houston. 0

:46.8- Illgauskas fouls out while contesting a jump shot from Turkoglu for god knows what reason. 0

:41.7- Mo Williams is intentionally fouled.0

:28.8- Williams is intentionally fouled again. Why are the Magic doing this? Because Reggie Miller is calling the game? 0

0-14,8-3-2

0-30,15-8-9

Final Tallies:

Great non-calls: 0

Legitimate calls/good non-calls: 44 (23 of which were obvious)

Questionable calls: 11

Atrocious calls: 11

Alright, of the three games we watched this is the best we’ve seen so far, and there was still a tinge of favoritism shown towards the home team. But by and large, if you just look at the percentages only 1/6 of the officials decisions we’re face-meltingly bad, and another six we regarded as highly debatable, relegating any favoritism to marginal at best. Yes, Howard and Turkoglu both fouled out, but so did Varejao. There was only a seven shot gap in free throw shooting which actually favored the Magic (41-34). From what we saw tonight and the past two, the people that tend to benefit from official interference are marketable players that illicit strong reactions from home fans and (depending on how transcendent the player), occasionally a player like LeBron James can benefit from fans inadvertently getting him a couple calls.

All in all, this results in a relatively fairly matched game with a slight edge to the more valuable players and too many calls on soft/non-existent fouls. Again, this is all op-ed but I don’t really have a horse in this race (I’m from Ohio but any connection I might have with the Cavs is strictly platonic, they could move to Zurich for all I care), so I’d like to think that I’m being as objective as possible. Though like I said before, I don’t want these series’ to end. I need a surplus of NBA coverage before we go on hiatus and I have to wait out two months of non-stop baseball coverage.

Back next week, hopefully with something football related.

We got started late but since this is a Lakers game we didn’t miss much early. For what we did miss, we apologize. It will never happen again. We’re not going to go into some tortured preamble again about why we’re doing this. If you do want to read the explanation for why we’re writing about the NBA on a NFL fantasy blog, go here. Or just roll with it. I recommend rolling with it, the only thing more obnoxious than unnecessary open tabs is meaningless explanations for writing blog posts no one really reads.

(more…)

Given the unbelievable heap of garbage that is NFL news today, we’re going to do something slightly different and modify the site for at least today, if not the rest of the week. And when I say modify, I mean write about an entirely different sport. I guess our dark secret (as it pertains to this site at least) is that we probably prefer the NBA to the NFL. The NBA is much more laid back, enjoyable league that isn’t nearly as cantankerous as the NFL has grown to be in recent years. And with all the talk of how LeBron would fair in the NFL draft and the league itself, we figured we’d switch sports for a couple days.

That said, the issue of officiating has grown increasingly divisive. Some claim conspiracy theories (certain players and teams being favored), others incompetence (the majority of the referees are bumbling idiots), and some think everyone complaining about the officiating is much ado about nothing (though this seems to be a distinct minority). I fall probably in the middle, but since the ineptitude works both ways any impact is objective. But between Mark Cuban, Tim Donaghy, the 2006 NBA finals and the ever-growing divergence of officiating between the stars and utility players, no one can stand to lose a close game without pinpointing a series of or one specific foul call/no call at a pivotal point in the contest.

So what’s my point? Well, in all our nerd-dom, we decided that actually monitoring a couple of these games and breaking down ho the actual foul calls, penalty calls and missed/impressive non-calls. Overall, the results were about what we expected for an overtime game and while their were numerous eyebrow raises, they stayed pretty consistent. Which I think is what most players and coaches in the league ask for. For each call/non-call we broke them down into the categories with the following symbols:

Great non-calls (A foul would generally be called in the situation but the referee caught the lack of contact): 00
Legitimate calls/good non-calls (Exactly what it sounds like): 0
Questionable calls (Calls that an argument could be made either way for but looked suspicious): /
Atrocious calls (fouls and called penalties that had no business being made): X
When the time on the call is bold and italicized, it means the call was obvious.

Mind you, this is completely subjective and many might have seen things differently (on one call in particular), but this wasn’t exactly Kobe Doin’ Work, we were limited to the camera angles TNT offered us, and the majority of the time these plays were considered innocuous so we seldom got replays. Also, we wrote this while watching the game last night and not only did we not have time for any editing, we didn’t think we’d be posting this anywhere in public, so we apologize for any typos.

(more…)

It looks like the self-importance of the NFL has decided to take the day off in honor of Mike Vick’s return to his home confinement, so we’re left scrambling for something to write about. We were going to do a Wire-NFL players comparison (with Vick obviously being “Cheese” Wagstaff), but that just seemed tedious and random since the series has been canceled for over a year now.It’s still better than anything on television or in theater, but a year in the rear-view.

There is, however, trouble in the NFL’s wasteland, better known as the state of Ohio. Josh Cribbs, a great return man and a third rate receiver, refuses to meet or talk to Eric Mangini until his contract is renewed. I’m not sure how he expects this to happen unless he talks to one of the people who’ll determine whether or not his current deal is restructured, but god bless. I’m sure it’s just posturing, but we fully encourage it. The more distractions the team has, the likelier they are to keep that streak of missing the playoffs going. It would be considerably longer if they hadn’t ruined it in 2002 when they made the wild card, only to lose in devastating fashion in the first round to the Steelers. Nice job, overachievers.

On the opposite end of the state, Carson Palmer is lamenting the fact he has to play with Chad Johnson. He didn’t mind before, but you have to admit that when you discover you’re teammates with a guy who legally changes his name to two single digit numbers in a foreign language, it’s pretty devastating. I’m sure Palmer was always under the impression that he knew, beneath the abnormal and semi-rough exterior lied a vulnerable, confused young man. This whole name change thing solidifies that no, in fact, he was just a uber attention-seeking douchebag, and now Palmer must feel betrayed. Now he’s lashing out in unrelated ways, complaining about Johnson’s absence at a meaningless practice in May even though he probably doesn’t really want him there. Hey, Carson, it wasn’t the Cinco who busted up his knee; going to practices in May to get back in game shape is your problem, not the Cinco’s. The Cinco is free to operate as he sees fit, and that’s to hang out on the lake drinking Mai-Tai’s while the weather in Ohio is tolerable.

Anyhow, between these, the news that Stallworth’s arraignment has been delayed a month and Hard Knocks coming to Bengals mini-camp, these are some exciting times in Ohio. The last time the NFL atmosphere was so palpable in this state, the Steelers were crushing the Bengals in the playoffs after taking out their quarterback. At this point in the two team’s history, at least for the past twenty years, is a prank being pulled on the masses. After endless draft busts, disappointing losses, injuries, and every other type of bad break imaginable, you have to be able to laugh at the circumstances. If only football were just a game in this country.

Ah well.

Back tomorrow with something similar.

Pretty slow news day(s) for the NFL. The big news, obviously, is Mike Vick being released from federal prison. To be honest, he’s so regularly been apart of the sports news cycle I barely had time to notice his absence. If I gave a shit about the Falcons I may have, but I don’t, so I didn’t. My apologies to the guy who part owns Home Depot.

From a fantasy perspective, there are a slew of teams that could use a speed-demon like Vick. But will he have maintained his athleticism? Can he re-adapt to the NFL? Which franchise will be willing to take the PR hit? Will he play quarterback? Running back? Wildcat? These are all questions that have been pondered and milled over at least 1,000 times by sports pundits, local radio, national radio, NFL analysts, beat writers, columnists, every sports blog but this one and anyone who weeps during those Sarah Mclachlan commercials. And I’ll freely admit, it is intriguing. But thinking he has any place in the NFL right now is delusional at best and idiotic at worst. Right now I’d trust Mike Vick to bench-press my Cobalt long before I’d trust him to helm the QB position on my NFL team.

If I’m ranking top five teams that could use the on-field qualities the notorious dog killer has to offer, I’d go with Miami, Tampa Bay, Cleveland, Tennessee and San Fransisco. But Miami’s not touching them because Bill Parcells makes the personnel decisions, Tampa Bay already has too much invested into too many players at QB, and they feel they’re covered at receiver, Cleveland is coached by a guy who desperately wants to be Bill Belichick but is trying so hard to be “efficient” that he’s going the opposite way, Tennessee won’t take him because they don’t need no stinkin’ receivers (or at least that’s the impression they’re giving) and San Fran can acquire him if they want, but if they play him at QB he has no receivers (and two years off), and if they play him at receiver he has no quarterback. Also, I’m willing to guess that the main hub for PETA is somewhere around the Bay Area, so that should be fun.

Ultimately, the best place for him to end up on a football roster would be Miami, but Parcells would have traded him for a seventh round draft pick six years ago, there is no way in hell he’s acquiring him as a free agent now. But I think most of us will openly admit that Mike Vick would be ideal for the Wildcat, regardless of how short-lived the offensive formation ends up being. Between him and his limited accuracy, Williams and Brown, they might even be able to stay above .500 in 2009.

So it looks like he’s going to be forced to sit out a year, which for him and whatever franchise that might be willing to take (what they’ll perceive as) a chance on Vick, will probably be for the best. It will give him a year to readjust and serve as a litmus test for prospective buyers (sorry for the tinge of casual racism here), and if all parties involved are more clear on what they’re getting into, the better a chance this has too ending well*.

*= This isn’t going to end well.

Back tomorrow with something.

There really isn’t jack shit going on that has any bearing with fantasy football…but there are a bunch of inconsequential headlines worth relaying that everyone will forget about by next week. In other words: It’s like every other day in the NFL off-season, but with a surplus of off-the-field news. Without further ado, here’s the day’s big ticket items that none of you cared about.

Tony Kornheiser is “stepping down” from his role as third man in the booth on Monday Night Football. I’m pretty unphased by this because I’m not sure if an NFL booth really needs a third man (or why MNF is so persistent on insisting it does), but the masses seem almost relieved. Not that it’s unexpected, one thing that everyone can agree to hate is whoever is broadcasting these games unless it’s John Madden. Of course, I’m the same guy who thinks Dennis Miller was unfairly critiqued since I prefer a few deterrants to whatever (usually) dull fucking NFL game I happen to be watching, so I’m not exactly the voice of the people here. But I’m willing to be that Kornheiser is going to be missed once Jon Gruden makes his presence known in that booth. Honestly, wasn’t it just four or five years ago when Gruden was considered among the best up and coming coaches in the game? Now he’s hosting Monday Night Football. Who says coaching an NFL team isn’t a losing proposition?

If you’re having a difficult time getting a grasp on just how popular the NFL is in this country, maybe this will help you out: Terrell Owens entering Buffalo’s city limits is now considered a headline. Actually, this is kind of groundbreaking. I think Terrell Owens flying into upstate New York with the intention of spending the remainder of his career there is a good indication of how far he’s fallen from the glory days in San Fran/one season in Philly. Something that I’m sure everyone can agree on, even Bills fans should you get one of them drunk and alone. This is like Livia Soprano going from Green Grove to a state ran facility.

James Harrison is turning down his invitation to the white house. It’s the second time he’s done so (the first time was in 2005, after the Steelers won their last title), so calm down ardent administration defenders and whoever else. In fact, I would be surprised if Harrison even knows who the current president is. No, Harrison’s reason for turning down multiple invitations to the white house — and I think I’m reading this right — is he feels like it’s a sham since they only get invited if they win the title. Like, he feels his team should be appreciated enough to get invited to the white house just because it’s a Wednesday, not because they win the title. I’m not really sure what to make of this other than it’s the oddest boulilbase I can recall of contrarian logic and entitlement. This is all the more astounding when you consider that the Rooney’s (who I’m certain have traditionally voted republican), not only donated to the Obama campaign, but used their platform to actively campaign for him. I guess Obama just doesn’t respect who butters his bread.

And finally, if a prominent NFL player not understanding the significance of being invited to the white house by the president wasn’t depressing enough for you: Jim Johnson is going on sabbatical for chemo treatments. For those who don’t know and are too indifferent to click on the link, Johnson is the defensive coordinator for the Eagles, and regardless of how undermanned that team has been (they’ve been perennially weak on the D-line, especially since losing Kearse) or whatever adversity the team may have been going through on the other side of the ball, the defense was always a beacon of reliability. Throughout the years he’s made Andy Reid and the many offensive coordinators who’ve come through there only to move onto new jobs look much better than they’ve had any business looking. Given the seeming dearth of decent men populating the NFL and the fact we’re Eagles fans, even more so than we typically would we’re wishing him a full and speedy recovery.

Back tomorrow with something a little more lively, I hope.

You’ve probably heard the rumors: That I’m washed up, that my best years are behind me and I’m a shell of my former self. That our team is falling apart, our defense can’t stay out of prison, our GM and front office are bumbling idiots and our coach has lost even a semblance of control of the team. I can’t really refute any of that, but it is our time. Our time to return to the middle of the pack, where we rightfully belong and where I was destined to take us. And I think you all know where that is….

…to HBO, Bitches! Yeah bro, the arrest record probably helped our cause with Hard Knocks, but anyone who’s anyone knows they’re here for the Palmster. I’m going to bring the pain unlike any overrated quarterback before me. Be it Tony Romo, Kyle Boller or anyone who came in the meantime. Even Brody Croyle’s wife has nothing on the charisma and charm I bring to the small screen. Plus, I get to break out the cannon again. Who doesn’t want to watch me stutter and stammer in the pocket because I haven’t demonstrated any poise since the island of Kauanakaki reared its ugly head to snap my leg on my one career playoff completion? Nobody. I’m from USC, I have star quality. Why do you think the Jets were insane enough to trade up just to draft a quarterback who hasn’t started even twenty games in his college career? Because our evaluators are blinded by the troj.

If you don’t believe me, bro, just check the university’s account records, you’ll see how valued my services are. What? You think this started with Reggie Bush and OJ Mayo? You think anyone goes to play for Pete Carroll without being amply compensated? Well, you’d be sorely mistaken. Sure it’s in SoCal, there’s an endless string of beautiful women and weather, not to mention that with no NFL team, behind the Lakers we’re the hottest sports act in town. But we’re in high demand everywhere we go, and if the school in SoCal is willing to pay us as much as the school in Norman or Tuscaloosa, we’re going to go there regardless of who the coach is.

So get ready, you red state fucks, to watch the Palmster run up the scoreboard on any and every weak defense we come across. We’ll get steamrolled by the Steelers and make the Ravens look like the ‘85 Bears, but just wait until we play the Browns, just fucking wait. For how badly Brett Favre fucked Eric Mangini, it’s going to feel like a fucking back massage when I’m through with his defense. Trade down again, dipshit, and see what happens when you disrespect a USC alum. Man, I can’t wait to inflate my season’s statistical output by having four great games against the  Broncos, Browns, Lions & Chiefs and utterly disappointing my fans and fantasy owners for the other twelve. HBO’s never been so lucky as to be graced with my presence, now the world gets to see how we make the magic happen.

Alright, after a three day hiatus from this site (weekends don’t count), we’re back with some news items to at least pretend this site is staying “fresh”. If only there was some way for me to care about the NFL, much less fantasy football, in the dead of May, this wouldn’t be such an issue. We still have about two months before Hard Knocks starts airing, So if anyone has any suggestions, I am all ears.

Because he is, in the classical definition, a complete and utter douchebag, Jason Taylor has agreed to take less money to return to Miami after the catastrophe which was the Redskins (as is any big free agency signing in Washington). And no, he isn’t a douchebag because I hate the Dolphins probably more so than any other team in the NFL. No. He’s a douchebag because his intentions are to focus on modeling, which — with the exception of New York — Miami is the epicenter of. None the less, he should improve Miami’s defense, but the offense is going to be such a nightmare that you shouldn’t put too much stock into it. But anyways, have fun being under the watchful eye of Bill Parcells, you mindless playboy. I’m sure by the time this is all over you’ll be the next…whoever a reputable male model is. Dipshit.

Fred Jackson, the backup running back for the Buffalo Bills and a favorite here on Talking Fantasy Football, just signed a four year extension with his current team. This seems like an irregularly long extension for a backup running back, which leads us to believe that Marshawn Lynch is going to be Willis McGahee-d. Meaning, now that they’ve signed his backup that they clearly have a lot of faith in for cheap, they are going to trade Marshawn Lynch at his highest possible value (probably in the 2010 off-season) for draft picks or superstars who aren’t running backs. Either way, I applaud the signing. Even if they don’t have quasi-long term plans to make Jackson the starter at a low-ball price, he’s a more than suitable option to spell their current aloof and inconsistent starter.

Apparently competing for quarterback is like two three year-olds arguing over a toy, because Luke McCown claims the Tampa QB position is his. Nevermind that most non-Buccaneers fans would probably regard Leftwich as the better option, and I’m willing to bet that the majority of the teams fans would rather see first round draft pick Josh Freeman get the call (including us). Not that fans should determine who a team starts, but it’s a pretty lonely island he’s on there. Is his agent even campaigning for him? I have to imagine that the sooner he is starting regularly, the sooner he is exposed and out of the league altogether. And while his salary might not ever reach epic proportions, that’s a 2% cut his agent is missing out on when he’s spit out the bottom of the league and playing in the CFL. So yeah, you know things are looking dire when even your agent could have a stake in seeing you lose the starting position you never really had in the first place.

That’s it for the time being, back tomorrow provided there is anything to relay/mock.

So now that the Super Bowl and we stare down a dreadful eight months before the next regular season NFL game, we can finally get to the business of dismantling the two teams who reached the promise land. Historically, the Cardinals and the Steelers have been notoriously…thrifty, shall we say.

Well, that’s not entirely fair and I didn’t mean to relate the Steelers history in any way to that of the Cardinals. We’ll say this, the Cardinals have been cheap (though they opened up the wallet recently) and the Steelers have been savvy and efficient.

Pittsburgh has always prioritized the team when it came to bringing in new players, but rarely over-extend themselves financially so as to keep the team young. The first examples of this I can recall are with Kevin Greene and Rod Woodson, who were integral to their Super Bowl run in 1995 but were cut shortly thereafter. It might seem crass and heartless, but the Steelers have been run like a well-oiled machine because they treat their franchise like they should: a business. They’ve only had three coaches in about forty years and for good reason, They’re patient and they hire the right people. Basically, they were the Patriots before the Patriots. They aren’t going to make any errant moves before next season.

Arizona/Phoenix, on the other hand, has rarely been willing to extend a contract acquire a new free agent or take a risk with a high profile trade, mainly because the Bidwell’s have never wanted to spend any money that would put them in the black. They’ve typically drafted with the intention of drawing fans to the stadium but rarely ever to improve the team.

So now, as both teams come out of the jubilation/funk of Super Bowl 43, it’s time to start assessing how they will approach the 2009 season. And right now, the highest touted commodity that appears to be in limbo is Anquan Boldin. And the two teams vying for his wide receiving capabilities appear to be the Eagles and Giants.

Now let me just provide a couple caveats for what I am about to say. 1) This is all speculation, nothing is founded. It wouldn’t be a proper blog if the status of Boldin with the Cardinals wasn’t just some blurb I heard from John Clayton on Mike and Mike yesterday morning and saw in these two posts. And 2) I am well aware that I’ve been harping on the parity of the NFL for the past four months, so I know full well that predicting a Super Bowl team three days after the season ends is generally a losing proposition.

With that said, if the Giants or Eagles do end up with Anquan Boldin, that is going to be Super Bowl team from the NFC in 2010.

Now usually I would expect the Giants to wrap him up and the Eagles to hope to skate by with DeSean Jackson and Kevin Curtis. Actually, the Eagles have better receivers than the Giants now, so they could actually use him more and might be willing to overpay him. But the Eagles have two first round draft picks after trading the rights to Jeff Otah to the Panthers during the 2008 draft. So if the Cardinals are looking to build on 2008’s post-season success and feel like they’re sufficient with Breaston & Fitzgerald, they might try to barter for one or both of those picks.

The Eagles would probably go for the former and not the latter, and while I think they have better receivers than the Giants they are still a long way from an elite receiving corps. Sure, Jackson and Curtis are both playmakers to varying degrees, but I don’t think either one of them is over 6′1. A physical presence like Boldin is just what they need to open up the deep passes for DeSean Jackson, because you can’t exactly be throwing jump balls to someone whose basically the Darren Sproles of wide receivers. I’m not even going to bother making the obvious comparisons to Terrell Owens and that they went to the Super Bowl the one year they had him.

The Giants are just in a world of hurt at receiver and are probably willing to max out a contract for him, but what do they have/are they willing to offer the Cardinals for rights to him? I mean, they could mortgage their defense but that seems unwise since it’s been their catalyst for the past two seasons. They could offer up some running backs as they run three deep at the position (Jacobs/Ward/Bradshaw), but does Arizona really need or want another utility running back to split carries with Hightower and Aarington (I’m assuming James is leaving and that the Giants are not giving up Brandon Jacobs)? Do they really think Derrick Ward is that much better than someone they can pick up in the third round of the 2009 draft? (Note: they did sign Edge to that ridiculous contract so they might, hopefully they’ve been Hightower-ed into thinking straight about the running position) The Giants are not trading Manning or any offensive lineman. That leaves two options: draft picks and future draft picks.

This upcoming draft the Giants do not have much to offer in the way of trade bait. A low first round pick than pretty much the same thing everyone else has, so if they want Boldin and the Arizona plays its cards properly, they might be able to get some 2010 picks out of the situation. Neither has been substantiated so we’re not optimistic this will happen.

But we are confident in the prospects of 2009 for either team should they land a top five receiver in the game (After Moss, Fitzgerald & Andre Johnson). Sure this isn’t full proof, both teams would have to stay healthy (Which has been a tall order for the Eagles for every season since 2002), not to mention Steve Spagnuolo is leaving New York for the higher profile pastures of head coaching in St. Louis. There is also reason to suspect that Boldin might not work out for either franchise. Namely, he doesn’t seem comfortable in cold weather (remember that Eagles game on Thanksgiving? He made Braylon Edwards look like Jerry Rice with all of his dropped passes).

But the Giants should still retain their core defensive unit and are not going to completely abandon a system that has been so immensely successful because they lost a coordinator. And while Boldin might now struggle in colder climates, he will also have a chance to adjust to it (something that isn’t likely to happen with someone who grew up and played college ball in Florida and now plays in a fucking desert with housing) and can still contribute until October and in certain road games.

All I know is that I desperately want to see jim in an Eagles jersey. The fantasy/real impact he would have on everyone if he went to Philly (receivers, running backs and quarterback alike) would be almost invaluable. Though I will admit, it’s difficult to bank so much on the health of such an injury prone back field, but I think Boldin has the talent to make even Kevin Kolb look respectable.

So a few follow up comments that seem to be lingering from the Super Bowl. We meant to get to this yesterday, but as we mentioned over at Grid Effect we were at work until 7PM and that means two things: 1) We were actually busy and couldn’t get around to posting anything, and 2) we were too tired when we got back from work to be hassled with it. So, here we are. And its almost good we got the extra day to get a general picture of how everyone is reacting to everything.

For anyone complaining about the lack of a review on Arizona’s final play of the game: There were five seconds left and you had roughly half the field to go. While I think you were robbed of the opportunity for a win and the audience for an even more satisfying conclusion (as it looked like an incomplete pass to me), the refs certainly didn’t steal the game from you. Santonio Holmes and Ben Roethlisberger took the liberty of doing that.

Much like every year in the Super Bowl, there are a plethora of players on the winning team who could be awarded MVP. Harrison took himself out of it with that personal foul on the punt that pinned them even closer to their own end zone, so it was between Roethlisberger and Holmes. Considering Big Ben threw an interception and Holmes was his primary target the entire game (though Heath Miller may have been for the first half), I am content with Holmes being awarded the MVP. As great as Roethlisberger was on that last drive, the degree of difficulty on Holmes’ TD catch warrants the award on its own. Not to mention his cumulative stats (something David Tyree lacked last year and why it was default awarded to Eli Manning).

If you noticed that we haven’t mentioned the commercials and were wondering why, it’s quite simple: We can’t find a lot of humor in people trying to con us into buying their products. Even if we did, the creativity is sorely lacking. Can we get something other than nut shots, attractive women and animals afflicted with sentient problems? If you want me to buy your product and are going to spend millions of dollars throwing together and advertising campaign, it would stand to reason that you would invest more than one work weekend into it.

Also, for at least half of the advertisers I can’t think of a single, solitary reason they have to invest that much money into a series of commercials. Is Budweiser still in such heated competition with anyone that throwing millions of dollars into TV spots is necessary? Same with Career Builder and Monster.com. Not only does their net worth pale in comparison to that of Budweiser, isn’t everyone going to their sites anyways? I know when the economy and American way of life is in peril, I’m supposed to root for commerce, but I would have been perfectly fine with fewer commercials.

And finally, after any entertaining Super Bowl, especially one with a climactic finish, there is a groundswell of people quick to proclaim it the Best. Ever. I suppose if you’re going to have this conversation then it’s definitely a part of it, but on the list of Super Bowls we drummed up that only dated back to Green Bay’s first title in 1996, I’d probably rank it fourth behind last year’s game, the Packers-Broncos in 1997 and the Rams-Titans game in 1999. It’s generous to put it at fourth in front of the first two Patriots titles as well, we’ll call it a dead heap between those three for fourth place.

When you are trying to quantify something like “Greatest Ever” in sports, you have to take everything into consideration: Back story, historical significance, star power, efficiency, execution, entertainment level, etc. And while Sunday’s fourth and second quarters were wildly entertaining, I thought I was staring down the barrel of another Seahawks-Steelers game before Arizona got rolling. The star power was fairly high in this game, but there were eighteen total penalties many of which came during pivotal points of the game (Adrian Wilson running over the place holder, the aforementioned Harrison penalty, pass interference on the Cardinals last touchdown drive, etc).

So while we’ll look back on it fondly because the last seven or eight minutes were so eventful (and that’s all that really matters), when I recall that game it’s more along the lines of, “the emotional fluctuation was immense” more so than “Never at any moment was I not entertained”. You’re going to tell me that it was fascinating to watch the Steelers just peeling minutes off the clock in the first and third quarters, capped by them being unable to get in the end zone? Fine, but I beg to differ.

Maybe back with some news and notes later.

So you may have heard there was an NFL contest on last night. Not sure if any of you watched it, but it turned out to pretty competitive. Who would have thought that the Arizona Cardinals would stand a chance.

Alright, that’s total bullshit. Everyone has been so inconsistent (read: terrible) with their picks ( I knew my ploy would work) that no one was willing to completely write them off for fear of looking ill-informed. So basically, everyone was saying they had a chance, if not out and out picking them to win. Turns out, everyone’s trepidation towards predicting this game was warranted, because it has been over for close to half a day now, and I still cannot commit it to memory that the Steelers won.

(Note: Please note that when I say “everyone”, I am speaking in generalities. So spare me the emails with examples of how wrong I am).

The Cardinals more than had their chance, after holding Pittsburgh scoreless for the entire fourth quarter (and only giving up three in the third), all they needed was one more stop to earn what most would consider one of the more unexpected (some say undeserved) Super Bowl titles in history. But Roethlisberger, on a quest to redeem himself from that craptastic performance in 2006 against the Seahawks, marched his team down field with the help of Santonio Holmes breaking down the secondary.

Going into that final drive, however, you knew there would be fireworks. If you’re a Browns fan you just hoped they would be set off for the Cardinals. But the veteran and playoff experienced team kept their poise and made the game one for the ages after Larry Fitzgerald finally lived up to the hype. It wasn’t exactly storybook considering the favorite prevailed in the end (and seem to be the beneficiary of several questionable calls/penalties. Again.), but it means that the Steelers are officially the best franchise in the Super Bowl era and if the Cardinals hadn’t proved themselves worthy just by reaching the Super Bowl, they certainly did with their performance in it. They’re now relevant in the NFL landscape. It might be the thinnest of silver linings today for you run of the mill Cardinals fan, but it will have to do for now.

As for the Steelers, what can you really say? While they might have been the beneficiaries of moderately favorable officiating they deserved to win that game. Sure, they kind of blew all the momentum they had in the fourth quarter and damn near pissed the game away. Actually, most probably assumed that epic change in momentum pick six to end the first half was going to seal it. But they earned this win on that last drive. Santonio Holmes, whom any fantasy owner of his is acutely aware that he was under-utilized during the regular season, and finally broke out of his shell to win Super Bowl MVP. This was starkly impressive, because anyone whose anyone knows that he went to OSU, and OSU doesn’t produce any athletes. Or at least that’s what every college football pundit tells me.

All in all it was a memorable game with several memorable performances (including halftime). The parity being what it is in the NFL these days, it’s a rarity to see the top-tier players actually deliver in the clutch. Larry Fitzgerald, Jerome Harrison, Kurt Warner, Ben Roethlisberger and Willie Parker all lived up to expectations. In a season where their weren’t any real upsets, the outcome wasn’t surprising, but the efficiency perseverance by both teams that got us to 27-23 most definitely was.

Much more on this later.