Looking Ahead: Week 3
Still in Arizona, still not posting on a daily basis. We haven’t even thought about week 3 yet but looking at the match ups, here is what to expect to see. We’ll be back Tuesday night to continue our regular gig that we are so gloriously neglecting at the moment.
-After Carson Palmer is sacked for the tenth time in twenty minutes by the Giants, expect Carson Palmer to take a swing at Chad Johnson, head butt Marvin Lewis, curse football fans in Ohio and be escorted off the premises in a straight jacket.
-Expect Braylon Edwards to drop another three receptions in the first quarter and for the announcers to act like it is some sort of anomaly, despite the fact he did the same things in weeks 1 and 2. Also, expect the Browns to finally get a W.
-Expect Philly’s defense to rack up roughly 17 interceptions against the Steelers, but still manage to give up 250 yards on the ground and lose.
-If you plan on watching the Chiefs-Falcons game, expect to fall asleep halfway through the second quarter, only to wake up and realize that Larry Johnson was still a bad draft pick.
-Expect The Chargers to have a cardboard cutout of Ed Hochuli in their locker room like the Indians did in Major League with their wynch of an owner. Only instead of removing articles of his clothing they pretend to teabag it after every win (we’d also like to add that the obsession and insanity over all of this is so incredibly simple and pathetic, there are so many things wrong with this result that go beyond one bad call. What’s really ironic is the same people who thing Ed Hochuli should die and burn in hell are the same people who probably complain about games being too long, thus the reason for why they couldn’t review the play. Relax Chargers fans, things seem grim now but you’re still a lock for at least a wild card).
-Expect another fantasy extravaganza in the Dallas-Green Bay game similar to Dallas’ Monday night win against Philadelphia.
-Expect Steve Smith to eat into Muhsin Muhammad’s production. And for both of them to look shaky upon Smith’s return to the lineup.
-Expect Tony Kornheiser to shit himself on air with the “return” of Brett Favre to Monday night, despite the fact that all Favre did was not play during the off-season.
-And finally, expect St. Louis to stake their claim as the unparalleled worst team in the NFL.
It’s weak, but we’ll try to make up for it on Tuesday night with something a little more elaborate.
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