Fantasy Football

Alright, after a day longer than expected hiatus as the result of the website malfunctioning like HAL 9000, very little is happening in NFL news. Well, a couple things actually. Namely:

1) Anquan Boldin confirmed everyone’s suspicions that he wants out of Arizona, and has formally asked for a trade. Can’t say I blame him. I mean, shit, all they did in Arizona this year was come within forty seconds of winning a Super Bowl for one of the worst franchises in the history of professional sports (the only ones that might be worse are the Los Angeles Clippers, the Charlotte Bobcats & some baseball teams I can’t really quantify right now). So yeah, he’s gone and it will be costly. But between Fitzgerald, Breaston, Urban and whoever they pick up via the draft or free agency, they’re still well-suited at the position.

2) Semi-related, Todd Haley, the Arizona Cardinals offensive coordinator infamous for his sideline screaming match with Mr. Boldin during the NFC title game, was hired as the Chiefs new head coach. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t really understand this hire. Is it really noteworthy to reach the Super Bowl with the best receiving corps — potentially ever — and Kurt Warner in peak condition. The last time a coordinator built a career off a Kurt Warner led offense was Mike Martz and, well, we all know how that went. Luckily for him the Chiefs are much closer to a playoff team than anyone will admit.

3) Speaking of disgruntled receivers, TJ Houshmenzadeh wants out of Cincinnati. Or rather, that’s what everyone says. That is, everyone except for TJ, who’s claiming the Bengals aren’t interested in resigning him. Both are likely because the Bengals are notoriously cheap and who would want to play for them in the first place, but one thing is certain, no one seems to give a shit if Housh decides to leave for greener pastures. I know I just claimed that the Bengals are cheap, but I really can’t understand this, why the hell would the Bengals want to give up there only viable star who isn’t a washed-up nuisance (Chad Johnson), injury prone (Carson Palmer) or an off-the-field head case (presumable everyone else)? Maybe instead of pissing off their fan base with sheer ineptitude, they’re now going out of their way to drive down ticket sales.

4) Pacman’s officially been cut by the Cowboys, making there defense safe to acquire for the 2009 season. Or rather, it will be someone other than Pacman who’s responsible for that liability on one side of the field. Unless they can get Lito Sheppard out of Philly, who would actually get them into the playoffs.

That’s about it for now. We’ll try and keep up to date with all the gripping melodrama that is the NFL off-season. In case you were wondering, this is by all means hyperbole. No one gives a shit about any of this, including myself.