Fantasy Football

My God this is a long week. There is virtually no news outside of random Cowboys melodrama that permeates every aspect of the news every fucking day of the week. That is of course sans the standard off the field news and McNabb freaking the hell out because he doesn’t have Brian Westbrook to dump screen passes to anymore.

Well, except the Seahawks finally relinquishing control of the top spot in the NFC West that they have maintained for the past four seasons. Not that they have succumb to the awesome power of the Cardinals, Rams or Niners; those teams range from solidly average to worst in the league. No, it appears that the Seahawks, much like the Colts, simply appear to be getting old. And their sudden elderly status has caught them off-guard.

The Seahawks have perennially been one of those teams that you knew would always make the playoffs due to a long list of circumstances (competent coach, balanced attack, aforementioned shit division), but would never actually contend for a title (sans the year they went to the Superbowl in an exceptionally weak season for the NFC). Sure, you watched them run around in their distracting, complicated uniforms, produced some entertaining games and who knows, maybe you even made some money betting on them to cover at home. But you knew that whatever else happened, for whatever reason, this team would never get over the hump.

Seattle may be down to a quarterback who was ran out of Cleveland. Draw your own conclusions.

As we watched them get pummeled by the Giants, we realized that this was no longer the dullest spread offense team in the history of the league that would methodically fail to exceed their considerable expectations. No, now they have the opportunity to be bad. I mean, really bad. Not only are they old, but they are banged up, and now neither of their quarterbacks are even bothering to show up for practice. This can’t be good for morale.

Under normal circumstances, we wouldn’t give a shit about any of this. We generally dislike the Seahawks. From the petulant whining of their fans over the politics of their teams players to the coach’s self-righteousness when it comes to perceived slights from officials…it all just rubs us the wrong way when it comes to which teams we want to see win. But this season, we finally did what everyone has told us for our fantasy football career, and that is draft players off this team.

Now, the season isn’t near over and there is plenty of time for redemption. But lets just say that my discontent for the Seahawks has only grown. For years I had resisted their tempting allure while those around me got fat off the excessive passing yardage. This season, I take Hasselbeck in the 7th and Bobby Engram in the 13th, and they both have fucked me raw. They fuck me going for the past three years, and now they fuck me coming. Hasselbeck has yet to have a game where he breaks ten points, Engram just got back onto the field, and their receiving corps. is in such dismal shape he was immediately catapulted back to the number one slot he reluctantly and indecisively held last season.

This, among other things, is why my team is the St. Louis Rams of our fantasy league. The only way the Seahawks could intensify my hatred of them any more is if I lived in a state sensible enough to house a casino and they lost at home to the Lions or something. That would ensure them of my contempt until the end of time.

Now we are just hoping they are banished to Oklahoma City.

/Sort of just kidding.