Fantasy Football

God, it’s getting to the point that I can’t tell if I’m writing a fantasy football blog or a police beat, they’ve been relatively interchangeable this week. The most noteworthy moment to happen this past week was Artie Lange raking Joe Buck over the coals on Buck’s own show. Obviously, it goes without saying, that this has nothing to do with football, much less fantasy football. Joe Buck calls games as drabbly as is humanly possible, and Artie Lange cracks dirty jokes on satellite radio for a living. In short, there isn’t much happening (hence yet another unannounced sabbatical yesterday).

So anyway, lets go to a quick rundown of completely inconsequential news, at least for the topic at hand. There’s a good chance we take the first half of July off, just to cleanse the palate and wait for something substantive to write about, unlike this depressing shit.

Dante Stallworth, as I’m sure you’ve heard, plea bargained his way out of extended prison time and was eligible to play this season, until Roger Goodell said he wasn’t. From a fantasy perspective nothing’s changed from what we all thought the outcome of this would be, so we’ve veered away from it. However, the meatheads that comprise local Columbus radio have tempted me to get on my soapbox, but I have and will continue to refrain from doing a moral critique on this.

More Ohio related NFL legal trouble: Donte Whitner had his court date pushed back on charges stemming from a night club incident earlier this off-season. Donte Whitner, a highly effective defensive back, will probably always be best known for this, and for the Bills over-drafting him when they could have traded down to the mid-20’s and still have gotten “their guy”. Anyhow, whatever bearing this might have on your fantasy team is minimal at best, if you were stuck drafting the Bills defense you probably have bigger problems.

And finally, in retiree news: Bernie Kosar is filing for Chapter 11 and Ryan Leaf has turned himself in and posted bail, I have no idea for what, though it doesn’t really matter… But, but, they’re not receivers, they’re quarterbacks. How could this be? I thought only receivers fucked up their personal and professional lives, that’s why we call them divas, because they’re completely unmanageable and have no reliable skill-set outside of catching a football. These two have a chance to get back on track though, unlike that filthy thug Chad Johnson, who is clearly a criminal because he likes to do creative end zone dances that fans and teammates find wildly entertaining. Isn’t that right, Joe Buck?

Ahem, got a little off-track there.

Anyways, yes, the world is a fucked up place and the NFL isn’t immune to it. It’s almost like these are real people that occasionally have to deal with real world issues. Wow, how eye-opening.

Back next Monday with something new on the docket.