Sweatpants: Changing The NFL Landscape One Indifferent Fashion Victim At A Time
In wake of the Giants releasing Plaxico Burress, I think a replacements post is in order. This has been an incredibly difficult season to keep your ducks in order, what with excessive injuries, multiple suspensions, steroids, teams distancing themselves more and more from a star format and run by committee now rampant throughout the league. With all that’s taken place this season, it stands to reason that you’ve had about 40% turnover on your roster. Coming down the stretch run, where picking up a backup running back filling in for an injured starter can win you a week in the playoffs. At this point in the season it becomes crucial to take advantage of these unexpected opportunities. And just think, if Plax had worn some nice Chinos out to that club, we probably wouldn’t even be having this conversation.
Receivers
Domenik Hixon/Amani Toomer: I’m not sure why it is, but when Plax has been out of the lineup, they tend to throw the ball a lot more. Maybe his field presence opens up the run, maybe they throw it more out of spite because Coughlin has clearly never liked the guy. Whatever it is, now that he is out of commission for the remaining four weeks, expect Toomer and Hixon to see an increased number of receptions. Both are talented enough to carry the load, and the offense actually seems more potent with Burress out since defenses have no idea who to prioritize.
Davone Bess/Ted Ginn: This is dicey, because it hinges on the fact that Greg Camarillo is out for the season. Who the fuck is that? Exactly. These three make up the Dolphins receiving core, and while their offense focuses on the run cutting down the number of passing targets can only mean good things for a corp. that was pretty evenly split to begin with. Ginn was probably already on a roster about a month ago, but Bess should really still be a free agent, at least before Sunday. If he wasn’t then your league is too deep and all of you need to get outside more.
Mark Clayton: No injuries, no suspensions, just an improving offense that he looks to be the main beneficiary of. I wouldn’t get to excited and thrust him in the starting lineup against the Titans or anything. But if they have remaining games at home against one of the many terrible defenses in their conference, Clayton could rip off quite a performance under the radar (which is how the Ravens do everything).
Tight Ends
Kevin Boss: He’s still a free agent in our league, so I imagine he is in several others as well. Tight ends are difficult to advocate for, most of them are incredibly inconsistent and just about everyone sticks with the one they drafted unless he sustains injury (Todd Heap every year but this one) or is an unmitigated disaster (Alge Crumpler). But for the same reasons why I recommend acquiring Toomer and Hixon, I’m also advocating for Boss. Probably the most underrated tight end on the best team in the league. If he’s available, I’d pick him up and start him when you play credible defenses.
Dustin Keller: He’s probably since been taken off of free agency, but on the slim chance he’s actually available, take him and start him over anyone except Tony Gonzalez, Antonio Gates, Cris Cooley, Jason Witten, Dallas Clark and maybe Owen Daniels (his QB’s turn the ball over too much). That’s it. If you do not have one of these five, Keller is your best option.
Running Backs
Le’Ron McClain: Do not let the goofy fucking name fool you, this guy is a load and uses it to his advantage. In an increasingly potent offense and with Ray Rice and Willis McGahee battling nagging injuries, McClain should get the majority of the carries. Baltimore is probably the only team in the NFL more deceptive with their injury report than New England, so be leery of a questionable from either Rice or McGahee.
Backups: Assuming Peyton Hillis has already been picked up in your league. We haven’t exactly had a rash of running back injuries as of late. Some to keep an eye on however, would be Dominick Rhodes, Corell Buckhalter, Chester Taylor, Melwede Moore, Darren Sproles & Pierre Thomas. Again, I don’t know you and can’t attest to whether or not any of these players, if any, are available in your league (only three of them are in mine). This tends to be the position we see the most turnover at this time of the season (especially from non-playoff contenders). Be ready every Sunday to pull the trigger on any and all of them.
Defenses
We don’t have any single recommendation here, but if you have Minnesota’s defense (ahem), then you’re currently fucked. Our recommendation is to pick up as many defenses as possible for teams that are either playing the Rams, Lions, Raiders or Bengals. That’s you’re only hope.
Back tomorrow with lines and fantasy recommendations for week 14.

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