Fantasy Football

Just a real quick post done out of sheer obligation before we head out for the long weekend. We say out of sheer obligation because there is absolutely nothing of interest we can write about in these last twenty minutes at work, so we’ll just mail in the two lead stories from ESPN’s NFL home page.

Anyways, despite being from the region we don’t particularly like any of these four teams, so it’s kind of frustrating it seems to pan out that we’re always writing about them. But this warrants mentioning, if for not other reason than too throw a wrench in whatever premature fantasy draft plans you may have: Braylon Edwards says he’s eager to stay in Cleveland. What? Who has the photos and what do they entail? Because I don’t think Edwards has ever come out and asked for release/trade, he’s been plenty…opinionated about the team, the city and their fans. If anything I’d expect him to drift through mini-camp, sulk in private, maybe make an off-hand remark here and there until he was traded. Now he’s “eager” to suit up for the Browns? God damn it, Braylon. Could you at least develop a persona that I can set my watch too? Can you at least give me a good indicator as too how many passes you’re going to drop this season relative to how many you plan on catching?

Anyways, your guess is as good as mine for fantasy, but if you’re a Browns fan this is extremely good news. You have at least one skill position player that isn’t facing extensive prison time, been traded for ten cents on the dollar, demanding contract renewal or retiring. All the off-the-field bright spots should make the Cavs pending heartbreaking loss to the Magic all the easier to endure (I’m waffling on whether or not it will actually happen, but if the Cavs win it will be in 7. Though I picked the Magic to win the east back in November).

We might as well change this to an AFC North blog because it seems to be all we discuss. If all the crazy shit that happens in the AFC North happened in the NFC East, I’m pretty sure ESPN would devote an entire network too it. The biggest dilemma we face here at Talking Fantasy Football is half the division doesn’t have cheerleaders. By god, man. What are we to do for pictures?

Given the context this seems completely appropriate.

James Harrison has been in the news recently for criticizing the white house because they had the gall to invite his team for winning the Super Bowl, when he knows full well they would never invite him….just because. It was later told that he has a fear of flying, and somehow this factors into his reluctance to accept that total fraud of an invitation. But if we’ve learned one thing over the past six years it is this: You do not question, besmirch, or even look Barack Obama in the eye. Harrison should have known better, and now his kid and pit bull have suffered the consequences of his ill-thought actions.

Yes, in case you haven’t heard, James Harrison’s dog attacked his son, and I’m not going to call this karma with any sort of seriousness, because that would be absurd (not to mention that it wouldn’t make any sort of literate sense). But I do question the logic of anyone owning a pit bull as a house pet, ever, much less when you have a two year-old child. I’m not exactly the dog whisperer, but to the best of my knowledge, pit bulls are known for their aggressiveness. Maybe it’s only when provoked, but does a two year-old understand when he may be provoking a dog? I would have, because I’ve always hada tremendous foresight, but your average two year-old? I think not.

Anyways, this story is too depressing and strange to drone on about, so we’re going to cut our losses and call it a week. Back Tuesday with news from the long weekend. I know, I can’t wait for it to be over either.