Fantasy Football

Well, that wasn’t half bad. In case you were wondering or even happened to notice, we made picks against the line last week just to see how we would fare and to have it documented for public consumption. So far, we’re 9-4-2. We whiffed on the Jets-Titans game with glorious incompetence and the game we were most confident (i.e. obnoxious) about (Chargers-Colts) actually ended up being a push, but seem to have a pretty solid understanding of the league with five weeks left in it. You’re welcome.

At this point, I’m just beginning to feel bad for Chargers fans. The day they lost that game to Denver on the blown Hochuli call, I drunk off my ass at 3:30 in the morning playing poker at Caesar’s with a slew of disheartened Chargers fans who were feeling trepidation about the season current season. I did my best to reassure them of their team’s talent, poise and budding superstar quarterback, and that would be enough to carry them into the playoffs even with the one horrendously close loss.

Well, if you were watching the game last night and paying even an iota of attention to Al Michaels, you would have heard him on one of the 132 times he mentioned it that the Chargers have now lost four games this season within the final 30 seconds of regulation. When you play only sixteen games a season, that will cost you. Because the parity being what it is, you’re not going to be competitive in every game. Occasionally you will lose decisively.

When you lose over a quarter of your games scheduled (with five to go) in heartbreaking fashion, you’re going to miss the post-season. If they win out the best they can do is 9-7 and given that their defense looks like something from a Varsity Blues opponent, I wouldn’t be too optimistic about their chances. Not to antagonize, but if it makes you feel any better, 9-7 probably isn’t getting you in the playoffs anyhow.

At least there's something to distract you from your crushing home losses.

Other than that, we learned a few things going into Thanksgiving. Namely, that the Giants are unquestionably the best team in the NFL right now, and barring injury should almost coast to the Superbowl. It warrants mentioning that barring injury isn’t exactly some little caveat for this team. Yesterday they handled what is arguably a top five team in the league right now, on the road, and without their two best playmakers in Brandon Jacobs and Plaxico Burress. Basically, the only players that whose losses would set them back gravely are Manning and Tuck. But for how injury prone this team is, it seems like that cloud is eventually going to start raining on their least expendable offensive and defensive players.

Shit, Tuck wouldn’t be nearly as integral as he is if Osi was playing this season, but that is just a testament to coaching that they can have as shallow a bench as they did yesterday and still be dominant. Outside of one inexplicable curb stomping at the hands of the completely inept Browns, this team looks poised to repeat.

The march to unsuspecting mediocrity continues in the NFC South, as each and every team proves incapable of playing on the road. The Panthers got down 17-0 before eventually giving up 45 points to a rookie quarterback and a running back who doesn’t break 5′10. Bang up job, guys. You want to know why they lost and their offense was so inept in the first half? Because Jake Delhomme wasn’t exactly making a point to spread the ball around. He completed 21 passes on the day, over a third of which were to Steve Smith. If your defense is going to play so tentatively, then you have to match them point for point and actually diversify your targets, not just throw 15 balls to the same receiver. So yeah, eat a bag of dicks, Delhomme.

/Muhsin Muhammad owner rant. Sure he caught a touchdown, but it was in the final minutes of the game and was noticeably under-utilized for the first fifty-five.

Ugliest game of the week goes to the Philadelphia Eagles, who also took home the prize for most dysfunctional and most indifferent. Congrats on the big week, guys. If you could, I would like McNabb, Westbrook and Andy Reid to apologize to every fantasy owner who put their faith in your clearly chaotic organization, only to see you throw Kevin Kolb to the wolves on the road against a top five NFL defense. You guys are obviously missing the playoffs, but your defense could at least contain Baltimore to under 30 points. You just made Joe Flacco look like Joe Montana, and that he most certainly is not. Good luck with all your draft picks next year. Maybe you’ll land yourself Michael Crabtree. But since it is now apparent you’ll need a new quarterback to throw to him, maybe you’ll land Chase Daniels as well.

Speaking of awards, our Tim Hightower/Peyton Hillis/Mark Bradley award this week goes to…Harry Douglas. Harry, a rookie who played his college ball at Louisville and never really got on the field until Bobby Petrino left (and who ironically sort of sent his current team into a downward spiral), managed to get rack up one rushing touchdown (despite playing with Jerius Norwood and Michael Turner), one punt return for a touchdown and 92 yards on four receptions all in one day. Congratulations to Harry, and the people who started him in leagues composed of 24+ teams.

In short, it was a great week to own aging receivers (Owens, Randy Moss, Coles & in an entirely different spectrum of aging, Isaac Bruce), undersized running backs (Kevin Faul, Warrick Dunn, Michael Turner, and DeAngelo Williams) and quarterbacks you probably didn’t start unless you drafted Tom Brady or are in a league that doesn’t fit within the parameters of your compute monitor (Shaun Hill, Chad Pennington, Matt Cassel, Tyler Thigpen, Trent Edwards and to a lesser extent, Jake Delhomme). If you were wondering, I just named 15 of the top 25 scorers for week 12 of the 2008 fantasy football season. In short, it was basically like every other week, with names scheduled to change unaccordingly.

Back tomorrow with more.