Fantasy Football

Everyone does a top performers list and while that is quaint and all, it is fairly obvious. You mean Brian Westbrook and Drew Brees had good fantasy seasons? Bullocks, I say! Bullocks!. So we figured we’d mix it up a little and list the top five performances from guys you weren’t expecting to perform (or at least not to the degree that they did). Obviously this has crossover potential with a standard “top performers list” but when possible we’ll leave the pro bowl names out of contention. We’ll do a top five letdowns tomorrow because we feel tonight’s game has some real contenders.

1) Michael Turner
Alright, he’s with a brand new team with a rookie quarterback and no noteworthy receivers to speak of (fuck off, Roddy White) and what does he do? Breaks off 220 yards, two touchdowns and validates every nitwit in every fantasy league who over-drafted him. Of course playing the Lions factored into his success, but obviously we undervalued the Northern Illinois alum.

2) Willie Parker
What the hell was this? They drafted Rashard Mendenhall, Parker finished a disappointing season poorly, they are supposedly playing a loaded front seven in Houston, and he gets in the end zone three times in addition to over 130 yards rushing. Fuck Pittsburgh and their unreliability in fantasy football.

3) Hank Baskett/DeSean Jackson
Hank was supposed to be a force last season, but everyone’s assumption was a year premature it seems. Mr. Baskett has very little profile, and is only owned by 6% of fantasy teams in yahoo, but with two catches totaling 102 yards and a touchdown is good for over 18 points in most fantasy leagues. If for whatever reason you thought he would be a primary target for McNabb, then congrats on the foresight.
Jackson on the other hand is a rookie every Eagles fan and therefore many fantasy owners are throwing on their roster. He made his NFL debut with 6 receptions and 106 yards. Can the Eagles actually have playmakers at the wide out position? Is this allowed? I always thought McNabb was destined to whither away the rest of his career by only throwing to his running back. As an Eagles fan I know their penchant for beating up on bottom feeders earlier in the season, but this is encouraging.

4) Matt Forte
123 yards rushing with one touchdown, and three catches for 18 yards as an additive bonus for having the gumption to take a Chicago Bear. If you took Mendenhall, Stewart or any other rookie running back, Matt Forte is I’m sure more than happy to make you look like an idiot. He did it on the road against a stellar defense, barring injury we have no inclination why this couldn’t be a regular thing this season.

5) Philip Rivers
Despite being upset by Carolina, you can hardly pin it on Rivers, who through 17/27 for over 200 yards and three touchdowns. The guy in our league took him in the second round and in a just world their would be repercussions for this, namely a poor fantasy performance for Rivers and every other schlub he over drafted on a random, illogical hunch.

Back tomorrow morning with some good ol’ fashion vitriol, root for Donald Driver to have about fifteen receptions and two touchdowns and we’ll see you in then.