Fantasy Football

Over the course of the past few weeks, I think I’ve figured out how to properly utilize certain players for the duration of the fantasy season. It has taken me awhile, as some would consider me quite inept in all facets of life, particularly analytical ones, but here me out. I think these could be of value to your fantasy success.

LenDale White: If he is playing at home, against a shitty defense and Kerry Collins is still their quarterback. Under these circumstances, White is an asset. Under normal circumstances (on the road, average opponent, Vince Young at QB) he is a black hole of worthlessness. For instance, in week eight they are playing Indianapolis at home on a Monday night, considering the only offense that the Colts looked even serviceable against was the Ravens, who currently start a quarterback that was playing teams like Robert Morris last season, I think you would be well advised to start White if he is indeed an option.

Braylon Edwards: Only start Mr. Edwards if Kellen Winslow isn’t playing and the Browns are at home. Last week he put up 2007 like numbers against a somewhat depleted Giants defense and with Winslow on the sidelines for private (read: genitalia related) medical reasons. Yesterday they went on the road to Washington and he proceeded to drop four passes and only made his stats look respectable in the last three minutes of the game. He clearly has some sort of mental block when on the field at the same time as Winslow, in fact the entire team seems to share the same affliction. Except for Jamal Lewis, it was probably those two months he spent on the inside that hardened him to the presence of such an insufferable bloke.

Any player from any team in the NFC South: We are not one to cast aspersions, but the dichotomy between these teams on the road and at home is absurd. How mentally unprepared and inept can one be that playing on the road is that much of an team obstacle. Basically, the only team that will have any chance of reaching the Superbowl out of that division is the one that wins it,a s they can pray for home field advantage. Right now that looks like Tampa Bay but they do have Jeff Garcia splitting time with Brian Griese at quarterback, in other words. I wouldn’t put money on it.

The Patriots: Every other week. That’s it. It doesn’t matter who they are playing, where they are playing them at or what injuries they may have. If you have any Patriots on your roster, play them every other week. This include Randy Moss and Wes Welker. If you look at their first six weeks, they haven’t strung together back-to-back wins or losses, nor has their offense or defense played exceptionally well in either loss (which have come at the hands of the lowly Dolphins and the under-performing Chargers).

We’ll continue with these realizations as they continue to dawn on us. Right now we have to go ponder last night’s Mad Men episode, because it was that fucking good. Back later (possibly early evening) with top five surprises from week seven.