Fantasy Football

With the fifth week of the NFL season quickly approaching, it is important to have a gauge on who is expected to perform and who isn’t. Like me, for instance, do I play Muhsin Muhammad coming off a strong week and going up against the Chiefs? Or do I use the law of averages and give Vincent Jackson the go ahead, who’s facing an even weaker defense in Miami? To most people the answer is easy, but most people aren’t in the business of sabotaging their own team like I apparently am this season.

This, my friends, is the epitome of being on tilt in fantasy football. I know whichever move I make it is going to fuck me raw, and will somehow end up resulting in extra points for my opponent. I can’t really explain why this is, but in a season in which there is seldom any clear cut answers, guessing right is of the utmost importance. I mean, that isn’t to say that picking the optimal lineup in years past hasn’t been daunting, but the high and low of putting in the wrong player is dismal in 2008.

To give you an idea of how close things are, Brett Favre, after having an okay first three weeks (16, 22 & 11 fantasy points), is now sixth in overall scoring after one (albeit tremendous) game in week four in which he produced 36 fantasy points…There are supposed to be players who have performed consistently enough that he doesn’t eclipse half the league in total scoring after just one week.

So here are five players to avoid despite recent success. We know this is getting somewhat repetitive, but we have to post at least once every morning and there really isn’t much to say about fantasy football five days removed from the last week of play.

1) Santana Moss
I can’t believe this bullshit, but right now he is the second highest rated receiver on Yahoo behind Anquan Boldin. With that in mind, he is playing the Eagles this week who probably have one of the better secondaries in the league and a younger, better model of Moss in DeSean Jackson, so they have experience practicing against this prototype of receiver. Expect the Eagles to lock Santana down, or as much as anyone has all season. Where the fuck were you last season when I drafted you in the sixth round? Shithead.

Yeah, you're having a great season to date, but can you play the guitar, Santana....Moss?

2) Reggie Bush
He could still have a good game and his presence on this list would be warranted. We were a bit mislead when we described his performance this season as “every other game“. because right now he is second in scoring behind Jay Cutler. Still, they are playing Minnesota this week and while their defense has underperformed from a fantasy perspective, one thing they do is over-pursue the backfield, which means those swing passes are likely to be stopped before they even begin.

3) Eddie Royal
Currently 25th in overall scoring but that was almost due solely to the fact that Brandon Marshall was absent for that week one drubbing of Oakland. Denver is playing Tampa who looked deftly strong against Green Bay last week outside of a couple long touchdowns to Greg Jennings. Expect the young, unexpected rookie to be brought back down to earth.

4) Chris Johnson
This is the season of the rookie running back. Right now we have Matt Forte, Jonathan Stewart, Darren McFadden, Kevin Smith, Felix Jones, Rashard Mendenhall (before his injury) and Chris Johnson all starting or getting ample playing time this season. The latter of which has been highly impressive. Unlike Forte, Johnson is still splitting carries with another running back(LenDale White, who is quickly becoming obsolete) and is making the most out of his relatively limited touches. We know Jeff Fisher is one of the better schematic coaches in the league, but Baltimore has a rejuvenated defense that is looking to clock some fucking heads after blowing that game against Pittsburgh on Monday. Look for Johnson to have one of his few bad games all season this week.

5) Michael Turner
Not only is this the season of rookie running backs, it is also the season of running backs who were supposed to be below-average to average that turned into pro-bowlers. Such is the case with Michael Turner, who is currently leading the league in rushing yards. Well, the days of playing St. Louis and Detroit are over. Expect his midget ass to be swallowed whole by the Green Bay front seven on Sunday.

This is highly negative, we’ll try to post five to start later.