Fantasy Football

We’re foregoing a recap of last night’s hotly contested game that took place on Neptune. Apparently they can only get a decent cable connection from Venus to Ganymede. Anyhow, we have to get on the road so lets get right to this, here are five options to consider when setting your starting lineup for Sunday.

1) Donnie Avery
They’re playing the Niners this weekend and you might be somewhat weary of putting him in after the looked relatively strong on defense on Monday. Well, first of all, the Niners gave up 29 points, so your perception is skewed like Dan Snyder’s perception of the salary cap. Secondly, even if the Niners did shut down the run better than expected, they gave up huge fantasy games to Breaston, Fitzgerald and especially Boldin. If Avery is like anyone on Arizona, it’s Boldin, and he’s also in between their second and third option, so he should gets some touches. At least more so than the past couple weeks.

2) Muhsin Muhammad
He’s been tinkering with mediocrity as of late, and barely put up a respectable game last week despite catching a touchdown. But who do they have this week? The Lions. The same team that is almost destined to go winless. The same team that appears to have lost its collective will and is unable to rebound. Enter one of the more overlooked second receivers in the league.

3) Matt Ryan
This has all the makings to send the Ryan for MVP talk into overdrive. At home, against Denver, coming off a big win and looking down the road to an easy schedule. Yeah, I see Ryan not only “game managing” this one, but taunting the already starving Denver defense with a smorgasboard of points, like everyone does every week, except for Cleveland in the fourth quarter of last Thursday’s contest.

Does anyone actually buy these calendars?

4) DeSean Jackson
One word: Cincinnati. He sort of came out of hibernation last week to rush for a touchdown and tally four catches for 61 yards, but there is no telling what a guy with his speed is capable of doing to an anemic defense like Cinncy’s. Assuming he doesn’t spike the ball before crossing into the wrong endzone, we like him as a starter this week. In fact, just throw the entire Eagles roster into your lineup if possible, Shaun Andrews is even 3/1 to recover a fumble and run it in for a touchdown.

5) LenDale White
The beast is back, and ready to plow over the suddenly paltry Jacksonville defense like Ralphie May sumo-wrestling a toddler. Assuming the diabetes doesn’t take his site before Sunday’s game, we see not only a couple goal line touchdowns for the USC alum, but also some yard production. Just be weary of any distracting meals being consumed near his sideline. Things can get ugly when LenDale’s blood sugar is low.

Probably it for the week. Enjoy the games.